Jun 9, 2010

The Truth Hurts.

I woke up this morning and cried.  This is the not-so-pretty side of planning a wedding.

For those of you who do not know the events of the past week, I will inform you.  On Friday afternoon, after three months of planning, a friend of my fiance called him to tell him that he got engaged 5 days earlier and yesterday had booked a venue for his wedding... on the same day as ours.  I am assuming that this friend had no prior knowledge of our date.  

Because we both knew that having a wedding on the same day would severely inconvenience our close friends, both couples agreed to look into other date options.  In 10 minutes they called back to say their venue was booked from April - July and that they were absolutely not going to move their date and our friends would just have to choose.

At first, the fiery Italian in me exploded and defiantly said, "Fine!  We won't change our date either!" ...But then reality set in.  This is not fair for our guests.  I respect mine and Trey's friends and I do not want them to be in the middle of drama that should actually be a happy time for both couples.

I finally received word back from my venue Monday afternoon.  The only date even close to June 4th that is available is March 12.  I mean, talk about pushing something up!  That changes everything, seasons, photographers, honeymoons.  

And then my business sense kicked in.  So I called their venue.  I spoke with a lovely lady who is actually the Events Director for the space and she proceeded to tell me the Saturday dates still available for rent:

April 23, April 30, May 7, May 14, May 21, May 28, June 4, June 11, and June 18th.

Wow.  That is amazing.  The truth is absolutely amazing.

So here is the deal, either we keep our date and divide friends based on principle.  We have been honest from the start and we booked our venue 3 months before this other couple.  Or we change everything in the interest of our closest friends, putting a nail in the coffin to the phrase "Good guys always finish last."

Needless to say, I woke up this morning and cried.  I am so hurt and disappointed.



  1. AnonymousJune 09, 2010

    I saw your initial posts on facebook and I can't imagine being in your shoes. But I think that this other couple must not be very close to you and your fiance because they didn't know the date you had set. So you should both consider them to be acquaintances, if they were your friends they would have known you are also planning a wedding, and they would have considered that you would have set a date also. Since you checked up on their venue/dates, you need to mention that to them, and tell them obviously they chose their date for a specific reason and they are not willing to budge, regardless of the venue availability, and wish them well on their planning. But you should not change your date just for them. If your friends want to go to their wedding instead, then so what, you're gonna end up saving some cash. I hate to add to the horror, but by the end of it all, you are gonna wish you had eloped. Final advice: Don't change your date.

  2. No this other couple is not close to them. This other couple had no idea about the date (nor did any of their supposed "close friends")One would think that if a venue was booked for three months, the friends of the couple would know...and the other bride wants to get married on the same weekend that her parents got married on (especially as her father was murdered when she was 10). But I'm sure that you all checked out every other option. This other couple very much considered changing their date to the 11th--even had vendors hold it, but you can't hold dates for very long. Since they heard nothing from the other couple and the brides family was upset about the prospect of changing the date, they signed the papers. As has been explained to author of this blog, the other couple has work conflicts, graduations and other weddings scheduled during all of the other possible dates (not only the venue has a calendar!) Not to mention that the particular venue the writer of the blog called can have two receptions on one day, but only one ceremony on the same day. But, being in a magazine is obviously more important than friends. The other bride's fairytale would be to have her father here to walk her down the aisle. So good luck with your "fairy tale" and keep your date but lose friends.

  3. Jesse,
    I am sure if you would have read the last two paragraphs of the blog, you would have noticed where I did not say we were not changing out date. In fact we spent about 9 hours yesterday on the phone with vendors and driving all over High Point to see what other locations were available so that we would be able to move our date. I commented solely on the fact that in your message to me you stated "our venue is booked April - July" which is not the case. I have bent over backwards the last 5 days to move every possible vendor that we have selected against others' advice.

    As for others not knowing the date... typically you send out a "save the date" to inform your guests when you are getting married. I apologize if this was not done in a timely manner for you.

    I do appreciate that you had other vendors on hold for the 11th. That might have been a piece of information that would have been helpful to include with your message that said there were no other dates available. And I appreciate having a hold on another date for 5 whole days before signing a contract.

    When I contacted you, I commended you for your reasoning to be married on June 4th. It was for this reason, as I have already stated to you in a message, that I have done everything in my power the last few days to move our date.

    I am sorry you view my stating my feelings as a personal attack. The truth is that Trey and I were lied to about your venue being completely booked through the spring and summer. If you had wanted some sort of resolution, I think honesty would have been a good place to start.

  4. As I lay down to indulge in my favorite guilty pleasure of watching the Real Housewives of New Jersey, I am deeply saddened by Jesse's response to Christina's latest post. They say there are two sides to every story and I am not going to rehash the details of the "she said, she said" because they both know the truth and unfortunately, Jesse felt it necessary to lash out which is a natural response when one is caught in a lie. I am however going to offer a 3rd perspective because I am in the business of helping brides achieve their fairy tale day and I too have planned what I thought was my fairy tale day and got married but now find myself going through a divorce so believe me when I say that I do speak from experience.

    I am Ashleigh...owner of Ashleigh's Fine Paper which specializes in weddings and stationery...Christina's mentor and proud boss...Christina's "unofficial" wedding planner and wingman throughout this whole process. However, as of late...I have been her shoulder to cry on and sounding board which I take very serious and if I could take her pain away and hurt for her, believe me I would. Let me assure you that since this situation has unfolded this past week, Christina has handled this with the utmost class, poise and grace and should hold her head up high because she has nothing to be ashamed of and nothing to feel guilty about at this time. I am truly honored to call her my good friend and often fondly refer to her as my adopted 2nd sister.

    It will truly be a privilege to stand up for her and Trey whatever date they eventually walk down the aisle at wherever they choose to walk down the aisle because it is not about getting their "fairy tale wedding" or picking a magazine over friends. It is about maintaining the fairy tale life that they have worked so hard to begin building and it sometimes brings tears to my eyes to witness their love and admiration for each other.

    Watching the two of them has renewed my faith that fairy tales and true love exist and it is something to be valued and nurtured because that is what is important. It honestly has nothing to do with the size of the wedding, the guests that attend or the date that it happens. I can assure you that from experience, I would pick a fairy tale life with the person I love over a fairy tale wedding any day of the week. I don't know Jesse but I wish her all the best in her wedding planning and marriage but I do hope that she can shift her focus on what is truly important and stop trying to tear others down because it is not very becoming.

    Peace and Love-Ashleigh

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  6. Christina, my stomach is just sick for you! I am so sorry you are dealing with this. There is so much more I could say but it would be evident that you have much more grace and poise (as mentioned before) than I do.

  7. Christina we are here for you and as your adopted sisters and family we will all make sure your day is as wonderful as any.... you and Trey continue with your plans and enjoy your time in doing so!! Remember what I told you in the beginning and don't forget that you are definitely the bigger person here and we are more proud than ever to stand behind you and Trey

  8. AnonymousJune 10, 2010

    How is she the bigger person exactly? She (Christina) started this whole thing by talking smack about the other couple on her blog...it would be ignorant of her or other people to not expect that other couple to defend their actions. Furthermore, the other couple did not LIE, had you read Jessie's response, she said you cannot have a ceremony and a reception on the same day @ their venue on all of those dates..and the date holds SIGNIFICANT meaning for her and her family...what significance does this date hold for u exactly? There is absolutely nothing wrong with Jessie's response. Also it's not their fault that they chose a venue within a week of getting engaged, some people are just more decisive than others..which should be praised not looked down upon. Personally there are bigger things going on this world..like in Haiti, Iraq, the Gulf than to be writing on a blog about something as trivial as this.

  9. AnonymousJune 10, 2010

    Congratulations on your new May wedding date! It is wonderful that your friends will be able to celebrate with you. Now you can take a deep breath and focus on what is important...each other.